Celebrities might not remember each other’s bigoted rants, but we do

Tracy Morgan’s recent comedy routine about a hypothetically gay son has drawn critics to say he should be fired from “30 Rock.” Joakim Noah of the Chicago Bulls was fined $50,000 for calling a fan “Fa****” during a game. Both have since apologized.

At least once a year, some celebrity has to issue an apology for offending some group. I don’t care if these people think what they said was offensive, but how did they not think anyone else could be offended? Or that it wouldn’t get noticed? Do these people never see any news or gossip sites?
Let’s just run down a few of the big things in the last few years. Just a few:

And these are just some of the recent occurrences in which celebrities caused outcries with slurs. The point is, there have been enough of them that other celebrities could look at them and say, “Gee, if I say this, people might get upset and I could be fired or at the very least, ostracized.”

But they don’t get it. And I’m not sure Joakim Noah or Tracy Morgan get why this was wrong. After Noah was fined $50,000, he said, “I made a mistake, learn from it and move on. That’s about it.”

But that’s not “about it,” Joakim. Think about Tyler Clementi, who was outed as gay on the Internet and subsequently jumped off the George Washington Bridge to his death. Or the other LGBT youth who were bullied and died by suicide. Or Matthew Shepard, who was beaten and left on a fence to die. Many of these celebrities will attribute their slip-ups to the “heat of the moment” or a “moment of frustration,” but for the rest of us, we don’t get to live in that vacuum. We have the context of knowing how deep and hurtful “fa****” can be, whether it’s heard at a club in Myrtle Beach or from a car in Jacksonville’s Riverside neighborhood. You get to apologize, pay and “move on,” but for the actual “faggots,” Joakim, we have to live with the reality of that word every day.

It would be a great tragedy if Joakim Noah and Tracy Morgan would just “move on” and try to forget these incidents. Apologies and fines are one thing, but I think both could benefit from spending time with groups that serve the LGBT community. There drop-in centers for LGBT youth with nowhere else to go. Tracy Morgan joked about the abuse he would dish out if his son were gay. To many kids at these centers, that joke is a harsh reality. When Morgan’s tirade is forgotten about and there’s a new controversy, these kids can’t forget it. If Morgan were to visit these places, he might not forget it, either. We’re telling a whole generation of gay youth that “it gets better,” but we need to hold ourselves and our celebrities accountable to make sure that it does get better.

INFOGRAPHIC: Pro-wrestling deaths compared

Last week, WWE wrestler “Macho Man” Randy Savage died in a car crash in Florida. He was 58.

When Savage’s death was announced on Friday, there was speculation that he might have suffered a heart attack before crashing his car. As of now, there’s been no confirmation of that speculation. But if Macho Man did die of heart-related conditions, he would not be alone when compared to his fellow wrestlers who have also died before turning 65.

I conducted a brief, non-exhaustive survey of the wrestling stars to die in the last 20 years before reaching their 65th birthdays. This includes both men and women who were in WWF/WWE or WCW. I culled my list from a larger list, and then looked up individual wrestlers. I left off Terry Garvin because there’s speculation on his birth year. (He does have a really cool surname, though).

Of that group, a good number of these deaths were heart- or drug-related, if not both. Additionally, there were two suicides.

Some things to point out:

  • Andre the Giant was a huge guy, so it’s understandable that he’d have heart issues.
  • Yokozuna and Earthquake were also huge guys, so it’s understandable that they’d have general health issues.
  • Dino Bravo was rumored to have been murdered because of mob connections.
  • Owen Hart died during a WWE performance.

If looking purely at this list, it would seem that “Macho Man” Randy Savage is one of the older wrestling stars to die. In this list, he’s second only to Gorilla Monsoon.

Again, this list does not include every wrestler, and is not meant to imply that Gorilla Monsoon and Randy Savage were the oldest former wrestlers at the times of their deaths. It does succeed in showing, though, that in dying at 58, Savage outlived some of his colleagues by at least 10 years. In the grand scheme of things, 58 would be considered a young age. But in pro-wrestling, where these guys put their bodies through all sorts of physical activity, Savage was almost elderly.

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RELATED

5 best crazy Macho Man Randy Savage videos on YouTube

“Jen Aniston sex tape” and 7 viral video traits

If you clicked on any of the “Jen Aniston sex tape” links hoping to see Aniston having sex, then you did exactly what they wanted you to do.

“They” being Smart Water, who hired Jennifer Aniston to make a commercial for the company’s bottled water. The video is not a sex tape at all, unless you’re Ozzie and Harriet and can be aroused by hair and lipstick. No, this video was a spoof on viral videos — and an attempt to create a viral video.

I spent last week looking up what makes a viral video, hoping to pin down what made these things work. The guys behind this ad seem to know how to make a viral video. What resulted was a video that included references to general trends and specific viral videos. Some of the references might have been too specific for casual web users, though meme-savvy people will get it.

So, I give you the breakdown of this viral video from the perspective of a guy who trolls the Internetz, but who has never made a viral video. My only research — besides looking up “how videos go viral” and “how to make a viral video” — has been tracking lots of videos and memes.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s this: The Internet is a scary place. So, let’s go.

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1. REFERENCES TO OTHER VIRAL VIDEOS

Of course this video references past viral videos; that’s what makes it a parody. The whole video references trends, but I could count three specific videos referenced:

The “Numa Numa” video has been referenced before in a Geico commercial in which the zealous lip-syncing guy with glasses was shown with the Geico gecko. Funny or Die parodied the “David After Dentist” video with “Bieber After the Dentist.” That “David After Dentist” video was mashed up with the Christian Bale tirade video, and it was hilarious.

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2. CELEBRITIES

Would this Smart Water ad have been as funny without a celebrity? I don’t think so. The “David After Dentist” video inspired several parodies, but it was the Justin Bieber parody that went viral. The James Vandermemes video earlier this year worked because it featured a celebrity making fun of himself.

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3. KIDS

People love kids on the Internet. They don’t have to be cute or even well-behaved. Precocious kids, it seems, get lots of page views.

This kid in the Jennifer Aniston Smart Water video is especially precocious, lip-syncing to Far East Movement and responding with sass to Aniston’s questions. It was scripted, of course, but came off as real, which is another thing that can help videos go viral.

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4. AUTHENTICITY

The little kid might have been one of the only authentic things in this commercial, but at least we knew it was scripted from the beginning. Some of my favorite viral videos have that “Holy shit, is this real?” quality to them. And they feature people who aren’t afraid to do something silly (hence, “Numa Numa.”)

Newscasts with weird characters or mistakes are especially good for authenticity. Antoine Dodson became a meme after he was featured in a newscast about his sister being assaulted. I don’t think they’ve caught the perp, but Antoine Dodson has inspired several parodies (many including Dodson himself). The subsequent Antoine Dodson videos have not been funny, in my opinion, because he’s too aware that he’s trying to get your attention and make you laugh.

Other newscast videos that went viral:

A low-quality video that looks like it was shot on a webcam or camcorder can still go viral if it’s authentic, funny and worth watching through the end. Tay Zonday’s video for “Chocolate Rain” went viral, and many didn’t know why. It was a repetitive song with no chorus and was not sophisticated in its production value. But the guy was earnest and you couldn’t help but like him. The “Numa Numa” guy was very authentic, which is why his original video was better than his Geico ad.

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5. ANIMALS

If I’ve learned anything from I Can Has Cheezburger?, it’s that animals will get views. It doesn’t matter what kind of animal: it could be a cat, dog, bird, ferret or something else.

The only animal that wouldn’t go viral would probably be a dead animal. Fortunate for Jennifer Aniston, the folks at Smart Water went with live animals.

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6. VIOLENCE

Search for “kick to the nuts” on YouTube and you’ll find a bunch of videos. Most notable is this one, if for no other reason than the quote at 1:12: “No cup, no nothin’, bro, just straight up nuts.”

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7. SEX

This video takes advantage of several of Jennifer Aniston’s assets — her humor, her timing, her recognition — but also takes advantage of her good looks. There really is no sex in this video — the Herbal Essences commercials were steamier.

But if you add “sex tape” to anything, you’ll get views. Even if it’s on YouTube and people know they won’t get to see nudity. Even if it’s on my blog and they know it won’t be an actual “sex tape,” they’ll still click on it. You did, and so will others.

RELATED: My favorite videos of 2011 so far

My favorite videos of 2011 so far

In conjunction with my musings on the “Jen Aniston sex tape” and seven traits of viral videos, I present my favorite videos to surface in 2011. Four of them have gotten at least a million page views apiece, and the fifth could eventually get that many views. The sixth one, though, will probably remain a cult favorite.

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1. ATLANTA WEATHER REPORT

Megan McGlover is not a weather lady or even a reporter, per se. She’s a woman with her blog and videos — and she’s hilarious.

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2. VOLKSWAGON COMMERCIAL: THE FORCE

This Super Bowl commercial actually appeared online a few days before the game. It was a wise move, because it generated a lot of hype. Thus, I think this is the most memorable commercial from this year’s Super Bowl.

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3. 5-YEAR-OLD NEEDS JOB BEFORE GETTING MARRIED

There’s another video where this girl explains why Seinfeld is a better comedian than she is. She laments that he can write great jokes, and she can’t. In this video, though, she explains that she’s going to be independent before getting married.

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4. ZACH WAHLS SPEAKS ABOUT FAMILY

In an address before Iowa legislators, 19-year-old Zach Wahls describes his life growing up raised by gay parents. His candor and passion make you want to give him a hug.

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5. SASSY GAY FRIEND: GREAT EXPECTATIONS

The Second City Network has produced a handful videos showing how women from literature would have fared had they had a sassy gay friend. This newest one is one of the best. It’s already had more than 100,000 views in its first week.

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6. LCD SOUNDSYSTEM, “DANCE YRSELF CLEAN”

The video is nine minutes long, keeps the same pace throughout and is for a band that has cult status but not mainstream recognition, per se. Thus, this video won’t be viral in the way that these other videos have been and will continue to be. But it features Muppets rocking out and getting drunk on the beaches of Brighton in England, so it’s got that going for it.

In Case You Missed It: Xtranormal

I’ve recently become obsessed with Xtranormal, a website that takes your text and turns it into a movie, usually with 3D-rendered characters speaking like voicemail messages. There are  tons of videos that have taken advantage of this “text-to-movie” site, and I’m loving them.

Particularly, I’m loving some of the journalism-themed videos.

Adventures in Freelancing, Part I: The Trend Story

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So You Want To Be A Journalist

“If I do not get a job at The New York Times right after graduation, I will go to Columbia Journalism School. Then I will get a job at The New York Times.”

And…

“Do you even read the newspaper?”
“Of course I read the newspaper. I love the New York Times.”
“Do you have a subscription?”
“No. Why would I pay money for a subscription? I read it for free online.”

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Snake on an MBTA train

Joel Abrams of Boston.com put together a dramatization of the snake on the red line using direct quotes from Eric Moskowitz’s story, my account or the Craigslist ad.

To read more about Xtranormal, go here.

How Alabama, Oregon papers covered BCS game

A look at how papers in Alabama and Oregon covered Monday night’s BCS National Championship game. Front pages from Newseum.

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The Anniston Star
Anniston, Ala.

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The Birmingham News
Birmingham, Ala.

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The Decatur Daily
Decatur, Ala.

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The Huntsville Times
Huntsville, Ala.

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Montgomery Advertiser
Montgomery, Ala.

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Press-Register
Mobile, Ala.

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The Register-Guard
Eugene, Ore.

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The Statesman Journal
Salem, Ore.

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The Oregonian
Portland, Ore.

Two possible futures for copy desks

Nick Jungman, Knight Visiting Editor in the Columbia Missourian newsroom and a visiting assistant professor in the Missouri School of Journalism, recently wrote of a new direction for the Missourian’s copy desk. In a nutshell, most of the newsroom’s copy desk now has no involvement with the print product, focusing instead on the website.

Jungman writes:

Instead, they’d become “interactive copy editors.” They would focus on getting stories to our website quickly and accurately, on finding ways to increase reader engagement with our work online, and on making sure the website is always putting its best possible foot forward. The work of a copy editor would be just beginning when an article published.

A small team of editors and designers, working separately, would manage all the details of the print edition, from story selection to final proofing, piggybacking as much as possible on the work of the interactive copy desk.

Among the interactive copy editors’ responsibilities:

Interactive copy editors are in charge of our social networks. They regularly use Twitter and Facebook. But we can be more creative and proactive in soliciting reader input for potential stories, rather than just the ones we’ve already posted.

Interactive copy editors also monitor the comment boards at the end of every article. They take down comments that violate our policies, and they jump in when the conversation demands a Missourian response. We think copy editors could do more in mediating conflicts among commenters and soliciting comments on stories that ought to be sparking them but aren’t.

I attended the Missouri School of Journalism, and also worked on the Missourian’s copy desk eight years ago, so I am especially interested in this project. I’d be interested in seeing how newsrooms would attempt this model.

Meanwhile, another recent story highlights a possibility for the future of copy desks:

The Winston-Salem Journal has eliminated 17 full-time positions and one part-time copy editor position as part of its transition to a consolidated editing center, in which the paper’s design, copy editing and headline writing are being done in Tampa, Fla., and Richmond, Va.

One of the 17 employees is moving to the Richmond editing center, and one has moved to a position in another department at the Journal. The other copy editors and designers, who left the Journal last week, received a severance package. A graphic artist and an assigning editor also were laid off in a separate cost-cutting move.

Of course, this was not a surprise. In April, Media General Inc., who owns the Journal, announced  that it would transition to “editing centers” by the end of 2010.

I can haz iPhone alarm?

I’m sure you’ve heard about the mishap with the iPhone alarms by now:

When a bug kept iPhone and iPod touch alarms from sounding on Jan. 1 and Jan. 2, Apple suggested that those having trouble should set recurring alarms, and that the alarms would fix themselves by Jan. 3, the first work day of 2011.

But users are still reporting problems with the alarms Monday morning. The term “iphone alarm problem” was trending high on Google as those who overslept stumbled to their computers to figure out what was wrong.

If this is the worst thing in 2011, I think we’ll be fine. More than fine.

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UPDATE

I just tested one of my alarms that’s set up to go off every day, and it worked. I also tested a one-time alarm that’s set up to never repeat, and it also worked. So, in Pat Garvin’s world, the alarms work once again.

An open letter to Marc Cherry

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Dear Marc Cherry,

I can suspend disbelief on a lot of things that happen in “Desperate Housewives.” The annual disaster right before the season takes a break between Christmas and New Year’s, for example. But there’s one thing that eats at me more and more as time goes on.

Time.

This show has messed with time more than “Lost,” “Quantum Leap” and “Back To The Future” combined. Except those shows acknowledged they messed with time. I just would at one point to have a character acknowledge that Parker used to be a year or two older than the twins, not five years younger. But I digress.

Last night’s episode pegs MJ as being 9. MJ was born right before “Desperate Housewives” jumped ahead five years. Thus, if he was born at the end of season 4, which ended with the five-year jump, he was 5 years old at the beginning of season 5, right? And if it’s season 7 now, and he’s 9, then did the last two seasons take four years?

It couldn’t have been last year that took that much time, because Lynette was pregnant with Paige from the end of the fifth season to the end of the sixth. And Paige is still a baby, hence the Susan-as-nanny plotline.

Which leads me, Mr. Cherry, to believe that season 5 took three years. Thus, the only logical explanation for MJ not aging to look like a 9-year-old is that he must be like Gary Coleman.

Of course, if MJ is 9, we have yet another problem, Marc Cherry. At the beginning of this season, Bree confessed that “10 years ago,” Andrew ran over Mama Solis. That was before the five-year jump, which MJ’s age establishes as 9 years ago. But that was also one of the first things in “Desperate Housewives.” Thus, we’d be led to believe that all of the first four seasons happened in one year? Danielle’s pregnancy? The Chinese housekeeper’s pregnancy? The poor boy locked in the basement?

And what about Tom having an affair with Renee 20 years ago? Wouldn’t that be when he would have impregnated Nora, before he knew Lynette?

This is just redonkulous. More redonkulous that the supermarket shoot-out, the tornado, the nightclub fire, the Christmas plane crash and the felon riot combined.

I’m worried that this is setting us up for the eventual “Desperate Housewives” finale, when we learn it was all in Mary Alice’s head right before she shoots herself, and that the series was a sham. It was done by “Dallas,” though. But then again, so was the “Who shot the bastard that no one likes” plotline currently unfolding on Wisteria Lane.

But don’t worry, Marc Cherry. This does not mean I won’t watch. Clearly, I’m watching. So, if your gimmick is to mess with our heads and have us checking calendars, we’ll keep watching.
–PMG.

How did your newspaper say, “Happy New Year”?

Did your paper wish you a “Happy New Year” today? And if so, did your paper use fireworks, kazoos, streamers, vector art or photos?

A quick perusing of Newseum showed that all of the above was at work in the skyboxes this morning. A look at some of them:

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The Gadsden Times
Gadsden, Ala.

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The Huntsville Times
Huntsville, Ala.

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The Montgomery Advertiser
Montgomery, Ala.

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The Anchorage Daily News
Anchorage, Alaska

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The Sentinel-Record
Hot Springs, Ark.

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The Bakersfield Californian
Bakersfield, Calif.

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The Modesto Bee
Modesto, Calif.

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The Weekend Californian
Salinas, Calif.

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The Florida Times-Union
Jacksonville, Fla.

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The Pueblo Chieftain
Pueblo, Colo.

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The St. Petersburg Times
St. Petersburg, Fla.

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The Daytona Beach News-Journal
Daytona Beach, Fla.

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The Star-Advertiser
Honolulu, Hawaii

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West Hawaii Today
Kailua Kona, Hawaii

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The Detroit Free Press
Detroit, Mich.

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The Santa Fe New Mexican
Santa Fe, N.M.

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The Daily Reflector
Greenville, N.C.

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The Independent
Massillon, Ohio

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The Reading Eagle
Reading, Pa.

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The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
Pittsburgh, Pa.

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The Virginian-Pilot
Norfolk, Va.

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The Salt Lake Tribune
Salt Lake City, Utah

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The Wisconsin State Journal
Madison, Wis.

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The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Milwaukee, Wis.

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Oshkosh, Northwestern
Oshkosh, Wis.

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The Wyoming Tribune-Eagle
Cheyenne, Wyo.

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These examples only represent some of the papers who incorporated “Happy New Year” into the paper’s nameplate. By no means is this an exhaustive list. Instead, it just represents the ones which caught my eye.